CHOW-DOWN CHECKMATES
The third of a three-part series devoted to
The fine art of taking one's restaurant leave with style
Part III: The Tip/Off
When it comes to tipping, the going rate is currently eighteen percent (sans tax). This is for "good" service (read here, "adequate"). If your server has carried off all various and sundry functions of the vocation with a modicum of skill and competence, he/she should be recompensed accordingly. An uninspired performance, on the other hand, should also be rewarded in kind. Anteing up a mere ten percent, for example, will communicate your displeasure in the strongest possible terms.
"Stiffing" is another matter entirely. A moderate amount of klutziness may be winked at; insolence, rudeness, and a general piss-poor attitude are never to be tolerated. Should you feel the situation merits a retributive withholding of funds, immediately inform the maître d' of your ruffian's sordid offenses and of your impending course of action... Then make a quiet exit and allow him to be the bearer of bad tidings.
Conversely, if you have received superior service, this should also be recompensed accordingly. Twenty percent (or a tad more) is a nice round figure. And if the maître d' has been particularly helpful in securing a table on a frightfully busy Saturday evening, his palm should be greased as well.
I mean, let's be completely honest here... If you have been privileged to dine in one of the last civilized bastions of haute cuisine (and there are precious few of them left), you have undoubtedly shelled out a small fortune on fatted goose liver and an outrageous vintage that would cause even noble Bacchus to smolder with cupidity; now is NOT the time to start nickel-and-diming it. Turning inexplicably tight of pocket when it comes to service is bound to leave all parties concerned questioning your legitimacy in the strongest possible terms.
You entered these hallowed restaurant precincts with a definitive sense of style; you should disembark in the very same manner. Not only will this give monetary credit where credit is due, it will put the crowning touch on your good work at table and will also assure you of an equally enjoyable experience on your next visitation.
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Bon Appétit!
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